An engineer, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told him, "You've been a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world and given pleasure to many; therefore, as your reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
Cu Tí ngày nọ đi học về sớm, thấy bố mẹ đang làm tình trên giường. Mẹ cu Tí đang cỡi trên bụng của ba hệt như cowboy đang phi ngựa, Cu Tí thắc mắc: - Mẹ sao mẹ ngồi trên bụng ba chi vậy? Mẹ Cu Tí hốt hoảng nhưng phản ứng lẹ:
The divorce court A man and his wife were in the court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife, jumping up and down, said: "Your Honor. I brought the child into the world with pain and labor. She should be in my custody." The judge turns to the husband and says: "What do you have to say in Your defence?"
Một người đàn ông vào 1 tiệm hớt tóc để cạo râu. Đang lúc người thợ bôi kem lên mặt ông ta để sửa soạn cạo, người đàn ông than phiền với người thợ hớt tóc rằng ông ta hay bị sót lại râu hai bên gò má, và muốn được cạo nhẵn hơn ở hai chổ đó. "Tôi có cái này cho ông", người thợ nói với người đàn ông.
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly, the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking.
At a Christmas party in Melbourne last year, the staff decided to pull a joke on their boss who had a habit of playing serious practical jokes on everyone else. While he was away from the table they (with the boss' wife) went through his wallet and found his Tats Lotto ticket. They then wrote down his Lotto numbers and called over the waitress to set up a little prank. She came back half an hour later and asked if anyone wanted to know the night's Lotto numbers.
Blonde in First Class A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she's paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back. The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!".
Một anh chàng đi khám bệnh, than phiền với bác sĩ rằng anh ta bị mất ngũ triền miên vì hễ đặt lưng xuống giường là đầu óc lại nghĩ tới hàng nghìn chuyện đâu đâu. Bác sĩ gật gù tỏ ra hiểu biết rồi phán. Trước khi đi ngủ, ông hãy uống ba muổng thuốc xổ. Như vậy sẽ ngủ được à? Không. Nhưng ít ra ông chỉ nghĩ đến một chuyện thôi.
A businessman sends a fax to his wife: To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, with your 54-year old body, can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife. Therefore after reading this fax, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be perturbed. I shall be back home before midnight."
A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, " I must have you right now! I'll drop 500 dollars on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I can have my way with you from behind!"